As a parent of a seemingly lazy child you may feel very frustrated with attempts to motivate him. Some parents are baffled by their children being so different in their levels of activity. Children are different and some are inherently more active than others but few are naturally lazy. Often a child’s energy is being used for growing and his body needs to rest, this can often be mistaken for laziness. Once he has rested and his body has caught up he should return to normal but if you are worried that there may be underlying medical problems then ask a pediatrician to evaluate him so that you can eradicate any physical problems.
Work out what would be an appealing goal or reward for your child so that you can encourage his motivation. Do not bribe him but help him see the benefits of being successful in carrying out tasks. If he gets his homework done in good time or tidies his bedroom then spend some alone time with him by going for a walk together or shopping for something he needs. Make sure the rewards you promise, you can definitely follow through with.
Praise is really important so even if he does not accomplish all you hoped he would, still give him plenty of praise for all he did get done. Using words that explain how his efforts have resulted in success shows him how he can achieve things and recognize his accomplishments.
Your child emulates you so keep a really positive attitude towards learning skills and your perception that school is fun! You guide your child’s attitude towards education and lifestyle choices. Do not let him hear you criticize the school or teachers as this will breed negativity within him and give him justification to not carry out the work they have set out for him. If you need to speak with the teacher then arrange to go to the school to do so without your child.
Children can seem oblivious to deadlines and time management. A good way of helping your child manage his time and get tasks done without constant delays is to use a chart system. Make a chart that shows him what he needs to be doing at certain times in the day. Make sure you help him accomplish each task on time so he sees that it is possible and then he can begin to get things done on his own and on time. In the big wide world time management is essential so show him how it can be done and praise his efforts and accomplishments.
Every child is interested in something so you need to discover what that is for your child. Learning becomes incidental when he is absorbed in an interest that really appeals to him. If your child particularly enjoys a subject tell his teacher so that they can encourage his interest and ability to learn.
Children like to express themselves and need outlets to do this. Extracurricular activities can build their confidence and help to discover what their passions are in a creative way. Your child’s talent is waiting to come out and shine. Find the activities that make your child happy and all areas in his life will improve, just as it would with an adult.
The best way to deal with your child’s apparent lack of motivation is to embrace it. Adjusting your expectations and accepting that all children are different will help you. Some kids just spend more time with their heads in the clouds. They may be artistic and dreamy and bring joy in a different way to highly active children. By accepting your child’s personality and helping whenever you can to motivate and nurture his interests you will be a lot happier and so will he.
By Eirian Hallinan